Life

05/07/24 - 15 years of livin

I just turned 15 back in the 29th of June, the day when we celebrated it was actually fun, I got so much stuff and got to eat so much food ! I FINALLY got an electric guitar ! I don't like strats, but this guitar of mine named Lady Jimmy is an exception. I love her, she sounds great and looks beautiful. Getting her wasn't actually planned AT ALL and it was just .. very sudden. While we were celebrating by eating lunch at some local resto, I asked my ma; "When are you gonna get me a guitar" she said soon, but then her boyfriend that was sitting next to her heard my ass and all of a sudden he casually said "Let's buy a guitar tomorrow" at first I thought he was kidding but NO, HE'S DEAD SERIOUS. Therefore, I got the guitar. Also got some chuck taylors from my grandma ! It's red.

I feel guilty honestly ... I know it was a birthday gift but still, he didn't need to waste 10k on some teenage loser that can barely play that certain instrument, I still feel like I don't deserve it at all. Anyway, enough of my bullshit, here's Lady Jimmy:



At the time when it was still my day, I felt nothing about turning 15, infact I was surprised I even managed to get to 15 .. but now after a week later I'm just letting it all sink in and I start to feel more weird and sad that I'm so close to hitting reality aka being an adult. I don't know what to do in the future, I don't know if I'll even get a job I'm happy with, hell I don't even know if I'll be alive at 20 or something, the thoughts still remain up there.

24/01/24 - Room tour

I was left home alone yesterday, my granma didn't tell me they'd leave and go out to eat and I was kind of pissed about that coz I haven't eaten anything all day, hell maybe even for an entire month now I barely eat. While I was alone I printed out some dumbass stuff to stick to my wall to make my room...less depressing to look at. Here they are;



It's so stupid. It's so dumb. But it's funny to me I guess and those image staring at me can probably help me stop doing stupid stuff to myself if I'm really sad, also don't mind the image quality, I don't have a phone and just used my tablet to take photos .. also my digicam was low bat so I didn't got to take pix using it

Also i kinda don't like how I have a photo of a dead musician on my wall just staring at me...



I have NO CLUE why he's so pink and purple. I think we were running out of ink. This photo of him just blankly staring at the camera is so funny but I am also terrified. This might be the solution to end my self harming habits.