11/01/24 - I suck at the things I do

I suck at art, coding, playing guitar, everything. I mean maybe some of my friends will tell me that I don't suck but for me honestly I suck, or maybe I'm just setting my expectations for myself way too high, higher than a kite. But honestly no, I think I don't really set any high expectations on myself I just want the things I do to be decent enough for me BUT THEN. The more I think of it, I think I'm being too hard to myself and I should just enjoy my young teenage years instead, like I'm only 14 ! I shouldn't be pressuring myself like this is some sorta job, I'm just doin all this for fun (but I ain't havin fun) and I'm in control of all of this and I can just stop myself at any second, but no, if I stop from doing things like those I'll overthink that I'm wasting time and that I am a useless bag of flesh.

I don't even know honestly I often overthink about this along with other stuff too but recently I've been thinkin about all this a lot. I should be answering my exams instead of blogging.